just got this on email.... plane funnies
Turbo Mini Forums

not in the habbit of posting in this section, but this had me in stitches! yes, i am easily amused!

Pete...............

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school

diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our

jobs.



After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.



The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,

and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let

it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual

new maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P)

and the Solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.



By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever had an accident.



P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.



P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.



P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



P: Target radar hums. (this is great)

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding

on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget!

And on the 7th day........... God created turbochargers!

some very good ones in there.lol

no longer a series, but still 1.3 turbo.

Edited by Mike on 30th Apr, 2006.

You're lucky... I went through 7 bloody A Levels (passed all of them) a University Degree, kept a close check on my blood pressure and sugar etc., and they still didn't allow me anywhere near an aircraft cockpit!

I'll hopefuly do my PPL later on after the Minis are ready...

I donated, but somehow didn't get the label! :(