Never accept a lift from Robert.....
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This afternoon at Castle Combe Robert asked me "if I was coming back out", not refering to any inuendo but actually on to the circuit.

To this I grabbed my helmet and jumped in Roberts car. This was my first mistake as Robert actually meant if I was coming back out in my car, not for a passenger ride in his. However he didnt throw me out and off we trundled to sign on.

Eventually we were sat waiting to get out on the track and he tells me that he has only driven on a track once before. Not to worry I was sat expecting and interesting but relaxed ride around the track....



I was wrong.....very wrong.............

Im a fan of giving the tyres and brakes a bit of time to warm up-Robert isnt. Straight into Quarry going hell for leather, the rest of the lap is a bit of a blur, we must have got past several cars and then we arrived at Bobbies



Robert comes charging in as if the throttle has stuck and actuator pipe has fallen off. Successfully avoiding the run off area he then goes straight over the grass! Im squealling "OH ROBERT" We take off as we hit a kurb, land on a few bumps and then we both notice a bigger dip on our entry to the track.
Some how we make it onto the track although whilst all this was going on i managed to wedge my hand in between my helmet and visor.

I thought he might calm down, but no, undeterred we charge off towards quarry with more late breaking techiques a wobbly line as the wheels spin on the exit and blast down towards quarry.

As Robert said that he hadnt really driven on the track before I decided that id try and offer him some friendly advice. i think I was talking to myself as he continued to drive like someone who had blatently done this before.

Meanwhile I was sat in the standard passenger seat with a lap belt, head touching the headliner trying to avoid falling on the gearstick, holding on to the base of the seat.
It looked like incy wincy spider was in the car as my arms and legs flailed everywhere trying to hold on.

After the very late breaking attempt for Bobbies on the previous lap there were a few moments when I thought we were going to end up off the road/in the barrier/in a coffin, and then we were at Bobbies again.

Not quite so much speed but a very late braking attempt, which resulted in the back trying to overtake the front and lots of fish tailing out of the exit, to which had me screaming "Yes" as it went in the right direction, "no" as we went off the track, and Robert screaming "OH OO OH ARGH" as he frantically turns the steering wheel in all three directions turning on the indictors left, then right, putting the wipers on all 2 speeds. We unfortunately ended up on the grass but in all of the excitedment he managed to (unintentionally) turn off the wipers and indicators. Still no one had caught up-off we went again Flying towards Quarry.

I was petrified about ending up in the wall here, Robert appeared unaware of the potential problem and charged round there with a nerve scaring wide exiting line just past the edge of control.

At this point I realised I was in lucky hands (not safe hands) and said "Im starting to relax now" and started to bare with this red misted racing approach. Although on this lap there were plenty of buttock tensing moments there was a bit of traffic which thankfully marginally slowed our entry into corners. On this lap I notcied that all of this slipping around in the car had caused me to unwind the window with my thigh!

(In all of the drama ive managed to loose a lap)

Lap 5 or something and Robert actually managed to get Bobbies right with a beautiful line through it, however previously avon rise/quarry nearly came a cropper and The Esses nearly extended out on to the grass.
Coming into camp corner Robert is poised ready to over take a slower car when a BINI over took, and then some dick in another follows him through undertaking around the corner.
Unfortunately Robert was now enraged trying to chase down these two morons, like Sherrif John Bunnel in his police cruiser.
I breathed a sigh of relief in the fact that chequered flag was being waved. Robert kept his foot down as fast as he could, over the rise, and into quarry. Taking an interesting line that I thought was going to have us visiting the crowd. Down down farm straight there were the two BINI's and a smokey black mini all driving sedately warming down-Robert is still on for a challenge and takes the inside line into The Esses trying to do them in one go.

By this time I was close to leaving a deposit on his seat and had to point out that it was the warm down lap and everyone is going slow-in reality this was only for myself as I was feeling a little strange.....

We entered the pits and I quickly removed my helmet to get rid of the sweat pouring off my face. Robert asked me to rate his driving-to which I awarded 2/10. It wasnt what I was expecting at all, I think hes either done this before, or a very very disturbed man.

We arrived back at the stand, I wasnt feeling good at all, and my memories of this point are a little vague. I remember Ian commenting on me being a funny colour and I was struggling to walk and talk so a lie down on the grass seemed like the obvious solution.

A group of us ended up sitting down for half an hour or so, by the end of this I was almost feeling ok. We all decided it was time to go. I stood up and burped-to which a little bit of sick came up....

roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoyed the ride then Nic?????

Edited by Jason G on 27th Sep, 2008.

NO

a good laugh from a furking long post!

LOL

Lol, this has to be the funniest post I have ever read.

Nic, you're a big girl.

Robert, I definately want a go in you car now.

crying with laughter !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


brilliant write up nic ,thanks .

Edited by robert on 27th Sep, 2008.

Medusa + injection = too much torque for the dyno ..https://youtu.be/qg5o0_tJxYM

so Nic is gay - "coming back out" and "grabbing my helmet" in the first 2 sentences, but a great laugh from a cracking post mate

copied this over from the other cc post , just seems more appropriate here ..

had a hoot ,
never been somewhere where every corner is off camber ! realised a need for better tyres and a lsd .

had such a hilarious time with nic as passenger by hafway we were both laffing our heads off , me from humouur and nic from sheer abject terror , i feel the 70 mph straight ahead maneuver at the chicane may have played a part is this , after that i think he attained a new level of tolerance for my driving so the next lap 3 times lock to lock situation just made him laugh a bit harder.

nicks manic sniggering as the session went on was a unforgettable sound ..

Edited by robert on 27th Sep, 2008.

Medusa + injection = too much torque for the dyno ..https://youtu.be/qg5o0_tJxYM

Top write up Nic,

LMAO, totally forgot about this! good write up, nearly in tears.
Shane

Very funny ! Actually made me lol. :)

WWW.TURBO-MINI.COM

ahahahaha!

so i take it there was no throwing up on the way home for you nic?, you face did have a slight shade of green when we left....LMAO!!, was god damn funny mate.

i'm impressed you write in so much humour after your enjoyment!

Nic, that's brilliant. Best laugh I've had for a while.

You should take up writing short stories.

Saul Bellow - "A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep."
Stephen Hawking - "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

So, we have heard the evidence from the prosecution. What does the accused have to say?

Saul Bellow - "A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep."
Stephen Hawking - "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

Walked up to the stand and was suprised to see no-one about, then saw everyone was sat down in front of Nic's car with a rather pale looking Nic himself hahaha.

Was at camp watching Robert going hell for leather every lap!!

He was even going at it down the pit lane, I couldn't keep up!!:

EDIT: Just realised Nic is holding on in this pic aswell



I'll lump all the other pics on here too:

Edited by richminiturbo. on 28th Sep, 2008.

Edited by robert on 28th Sep, 2008.

Medusa + injection = too much torque for the dyno ..https://youtu.be/qg5o0_tJxYM

Haha good write up!!

Has anyone heard if Hywel got home ok? I felt a bit gutted for him yesterday!!

what happened?

i ws going to ask that rich ,but didnt know how to spell his name and didnt want to commit a faux pas , his engine did sound pretty terminal ....

oh forgot to say i also went out in nics car ,and it was great fun ,having the camber set for drag racing created a slightly lively back end but nic did v well at getting the most out of it ,felt good and pokey too .amazing amounts of traction in a straight line ....barstard !!!

Edited by robert on 28th Sep, 2008.

Medusa + injection = too much torque for the dyno ..https://youtu.be/qg5o0_tJxYM

nice pics rich mines the oew 1275gt and the porka at the end is my mates dads!

i eventually got on track after trying to pass the noise test, i sailed through last year ended up with 104db this year so bolt on silencer it was!